“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” Albert Einstein
If you are looking for the federal guidelines around divorce, here is the link >>> http://canada.justice.gc.ca/eng/pi/pad-rpad/res/divorce/index.html
I was reading an article on why confirmed bachelors don’t want to marry. In asking these men why it was because they were afraid the marriage would eventually end in divorce and woman would take him for everything he had. I am hard pressed to argue with this logical, here are some more links:
· http://www.timesrecordnews.com/news/2008/jan/28/confirmed-bachelors/
· http://dontmarry.wordpress.com/2007/05/02/views-of-a-40-something-confirmed-bachelor/
This site is even more brutal than anything I have posted: http://www.dont-marry.com/. Some highlights from the article include:
· The cost of proclaiming your undying love – speaking to the responsibility of the man to unconditionally support the woman after marriage.
· Marriage can mean career slavery – working to support the woman.
· If she stops working, she may never work again – accusing the wife hiding behind excuses not to work and…
o “I’m busy with the housework”
o “I can’t find a job”
o “It doesn’t pay for me to work”
· Even more unfair double standards that favour wives – such as cheating, the man is scum and the woman is a victim.
· “Stupid, Irresponsible” Men – portrayal of men in society.
· Divorce – direct quote “Upon divorce, all assets accumulated during and prior to a marriage are subject to division. It has become, simply put. a licence to steal. Even if the woman has not worked in years, and has spent the intervening decade(s) shopping and lunching from 8am-3pm, she is entitled to half, or more, of everything the man worked for during the course of the marriage. Is this fair? How many people would ever agree to a job contract that stipulated that in the event of separation that one party would have to return 50% of the gross amount of everything in the pay packet? No one in his or her right mind would knowingly sign such an agreement. Yet Western Men unknowingly agree to the exact same insanity each time they sign their marriage contract!”
· If you pamper your wife, it can be used against you – you have to support your ex-wife in the style she has become accustomed to.
My comments on the above article.
I am not against marriage, I believe some marriages will go the distance, however I do believe before you get married as a guy, you should know what’s going to happen if you ever untie the knot – that’s all.
The article is extreme to me however it raises some excellent points:
1. I did tell my ex to quit her job and look for something for fulfilling. This was the end of me in court. It was used to prove I should continue to support her. I learned never be this nice – ever. She even pulled up Christmas and birthday cards to prove her point. She was seen as the victim and I was the nasty man that did this to her. I will never tell anyone ever again to quit their job.
What’s interesting about this point is I claimed physical and verbal abuse from her which was disallowed in court. I provided pages and pages of data that was not allowed. It was extraordinarily frustrating at the time, I really wanted to scream at that woman judge.
2. The career slavery comment in my case was basically correct. I basically kept jobs to continue financial support for her. This was never recognized in court, nor all the hundreds of hours of overtime I put in to support her, nope.
What did come in court was her supporting the children all the time. It wasn’t mentioned I did all the cooking and half the cleaning. I cooked for her and her family at special events and during the week for years. Fascinating the astonishing bias of the court system. This really didn’t matter but hers did, I quickly came to realization I would spend my entire case defending my actions not on the attack. This always puts in you is a losing situation.
3. If you pamper your wife it can be used against you – actually in my case it was used against me. My ex-wife was frustrated with her current job as a salesperson. She was making about $70 grand a year and with bonus it popped up to about $85 grand but she was very unhappy. I responded to her but telling her to go find something she really enjoyed and I would support her. This was a major mistake on my part.
She eventually took a job at $40k a year, well below her ability to make money. This killed me in court. I argued she was working well below her ability to make significant income. She has a degree and several certifications. Once more, I was the bad guy and this action was not allowed in court. The judge did say it would be nice if my ex found better work. On the flip side, I have to work, every single day, or I lose everything – seems fair.
My point is I am not sure why a man would let or allow or however the decision is made – for a woman to stay at home. By making this decision, you are telling her, the courts, the provincial and federal governments you are willing to support her for the rest of her life. The longer she stays at home, the more her career skills atrophy, the larger the settlement becomes. In this era of women seeking equal rights, this is one that men should be seeking – an equalization in the marriage.
Ah, ain’t entitlement grand?
rainMaker 
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