Into Extinction Day 122 (Does someone’s actions dictate your response?)

 

If you have read any portions of my blog, you know it’s tough and difficult road.   I have whined and complained at great length about the injustice of everything.  So there is a temptation to withdraw from everything and focus just on your problems assuming your problems are the most significant around but I was reminded earlier in the previous week that this might not be the case.

I had finished a lengthy workout and I had parked beside an ESSO gas station trying to decide what to get to eat.  I was focused on what I wanted and I didn’t realize someone had crept up the my driver’s side window.  He rapped softly on my window and pulled me from my thoughts surprising me and annoying me at the same time.  He was thin to the point of emaciation.  He was wearing a dirty black jacket, cargo pants and filthy brown v-neck sweater underneath.  I could see each breath he took as I could clearly see his collar bones and ribs showing. 

Of course he wanted money.  I could see it in his eyes.  His teeth were brown and his face was dirty.  I didn’t feel repulsed by this individual just annoyed that he had pulled me away from my very important thoughts about dinner and the catastrophe that Maintenance Enforcement put me in.   I shook my head no before he even finished and his eyes met mine for a second.  My thoughts were pulled in his direction, I could see how easy it would be to give up and slip into the lower rungs of society, I wondered what circumstances had placed him there.   I watched him move away from my vehicle,  a slow and painful shuffle as he searched for others to ask for money.

I sat there as he disappeared around the corner and I was now thinking about him.  The easiest answer to not give him any money is because he would obviously use it for drugs or rob a liquor store but what if?  What if, he actually needed the money to buy food.  How many people would he ask before he had enough – hard work indeed.  

I had lost sight of him as he rounded the corner and still in my own thoughts I watched a group of teenagers with spiked hair and the “goth” look cross the street.  Like any adult with more experience I automatically wondered why they didn’t smarten up and get decent clothes and real jobs.  They crossed in front of me and disappeared around the same corner as the homeless man had.

I had made a decision by this point, to find that homeless guy and see if I couldn’t buy him a meal.  Starting my vehicle , I eased it around the corner.  About 30 feet down the alley, I saw the “Goths” meeting with the homeless guy.  I had assumed they would ignore him.  Instead as he approached the one girl and 3 guys, they smiled at him and listened to him.  I couldn’t hear the conversation but one of the teenagers put his hand on the homeless man’s shoulder and patted him.  They were all searching their pockets, pulling bits of change from their pocket and placing it his hand with smiles.  Interesting, that they had done something automatically that took thinking from me.  I waited for them to finish their exchange with him.  They continued to smile and talk to him like he was a human being.  This wasn’t a small poke for me but a reminder that even as bad as I thought things were for me, they could be worse for others.  At that moment, I knew I could have done better by this man.

They finished up with him and I drove up slowly to him and motioned him to come over.  He smiled and painfully limped over to my window.  “hi”, “hi”  “Can I buy you some dinner?”  “Oh man, that would be great, just great.”  He smiled, brown and yellowed teeth but I saw something different there.  Here was a single situation where I could make a difference.  He slide into my passenger seat.  “Wow, you have a great car.”  He was in my SUV Hybrid with GPS and stereo system and leather seats.  He was right, it was a very nice car.

I went over to the KFC and we went in together.  He looked at me waiting to speak first.  I could see the KFC employee looking at both of us with some interest as this was an unknown to her.  I told him “order anything you want.”  I could tell this stopped him dead in his tracks.  He looked at me in wonder and I could see tears forming in his eyes.  The tears were making tracks down his cheeks and I asked “what’s wrong?”  My first thought was that I offended him somehow.  He met my eyes.  “It’s been so long since anyone has been this good to me.”  He turned towards the counter.  The server was looking at him with distrust.  He ordered the 30 bucket chicken.  The server hesitated and I told her I would pay for it.  She rang it through as I pulled twenties from my wallet.  I was curious and I asked.

“What are you going to do with 30 pieces of chicken?”

“Oh, it’s for me and my buddies, we leave under some trees over by that bridge.”  He pointed vaguely in some direction.

Okay, here was an individual living from one moment to the next and his first thought was for his friends.  Ummm, wow – okay.  Never judge a person by their outside appearance was a significant slap in the face at that very moment.