Into Extinction Day 104 (What all soon-to-be divorced dads need to know.)

Damn, I wish my lawyer or someone had explained these things to me, would have made life a lot easier and less expensive.

 

1.     Your opinion doesn’t matter.  Nope.  It’s better if you don’t have one.  Just bend over and grab your ankles, think warm thoughts.  You think I am being sarcastic don’t you?

2.     Whatever job; you have – quit – take the job as the fry-girl at MacDonald’s.   Seriously – making $9 an hour is really going to help you.

3.     Whatever she tells the court and the judge, they are going to believe.  You were a cross-dressing, transvestite, and vampire.  This is bad for the children.  They won’t believe you when you tell them she is soul-sucking bitch – nope – ain’t gonna happen.

4.     Sell off everything; take that trip to Thailand before the courts rule.  As a matter of fact, think of moving to Thailand.  You will be stripped of everything including your dignity, manhood, pride, ego, personality, sense of self, character, self-image, self-esteem, confidence, self-assurance, poise, self-belief, self-reliance, and anything else they can think of.

5.     Get used to beans in a can and Kraft Dinner.  This will be haute cuisine.  You idea of a great time will be taking out a frozen hotdog, warming it up in your armpit, and watching the neighbor’s television from your shopping cart in the alley.

6.     The fact that she stuck your dick in the toaster and set it to fry will matter not.  The fact that she stalked you for weeks and eventually pulled a “boiled rabbit” in your apartment matters not.  The fact that she convinced everyone in your office you have herpes matters not in court.  The court system is setup to protect her not you.

7.     Okay new concept here.  You will pay child support and in doing so pay what is called hidden spousal support.  The government, the courts and her lawyer and going to tell her to make as little money as possible so they can tap-dance all over your ass for it. 

8.     You may think because you walked out its done – forget that thought.  She has you by the balls.  She owns your ass. 

9.     Burn and shred everything, I mean everything.  I thought I did (shred everything) and missed her box of cards.  She kept everything I sent her which at first I thought because she liked mementos but in the end it was used against me.  I remember standing there thinking should I shred this?  I thought to myself, naw, too brutal.  On hindsight, I should have.  I kicked myself in court later when she brought the evidence forward.  Think of burning down the house – hmmm, maybe not that might come up in court.

10.                        Your standard of living is about to drop perniciously.  Your charter of rights is about to get a serious stomping.  You will be a second class citizen.  Better you hear it now and get used to the idea.

 

My list is a bit over the top but the feeling is there.  Its difficult to imagine in the beginning when you think you have rights and the law will protect to you to the eventual thoughts that this is not the case.  It is one of the rudest awakenings I can think of.  Good luck my friend, you will need 100lbs of horseshoes to make it through this.