I am reminded of these lyrics as I move through my life right now. Its seems very relevant.
We’ve all seen the man at the liquor store beggin’ for your change
The hair on his face is dirty dread locked and full of mange
He asks a man for what he could spare with shame in his eyes
“Get a job you fucking slob ” is all he replies
God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes
‘Cause then you really might know what it’s like to sing the blues
Chorus
Then you really might know what it’s like…
Then you really might know what it’s like…
Then you really might know what it’s like…
Then you really might know what it’s like…
Mary got pregnant from a kid named Tom that said he was in love
He said, “Don’t worry about a thing, baby doll
I’m the man you’ve been dreaming of.”
But 3 months later he say he won’t date her or return her call
And she swear, “God damn, if I find that man I’m cuttin’ off his
Balls.”
And then she heads for the clinic and
She gets some static walking through the door
They call her a killer, and they call her a sinner
And they call her a whore
God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in her shoes
‘Cause then you really might know what it’s like to have to choose
Chorus
I’ve seen a rich man beg
I’ve seen a good man sin
I’ve seen a tough man cry
I’ve seen a loser win
And a sad man grin
I heard an honest man lie
I’ve seen the good side of bad
And the downside of up
And everything between
I licked the silver spoon
Drank from the golden cup
And smoked the finest green
I stroked the baddest dimes at least a couple of times
Before I broke their heart
You know where it ends, yo, it usually depends on where you start
I knew this kid named Max
Who used to get fat stacks out on the corner with drugs
He liked to hang out late
He liked to get shit-faced and keep the pace with thugs
Until late one night there was a big gun fight and Max lost his head
He pulled out his chrome .45, talked some shit, and wound up dead
Now his wife and his kids are caught in the midst of all of this pain
You know it crumbles that way
At least that’s what they say when you play the game
God forbid you ever had to wake up to hear the news
‘Cause then you really might know what it’s like to have to lose
Then you really might know what it’s like…
Then you really might know what it’s like…
Then you really might know what it’s like…to have to lose
Okay, I have the opportunity, the chance to change it all. A series of items happened and they are:
1. My ex went to Toronto for a week and left the children home alone.
2. When my daughter went to the hospital for surgery, my ex went to Toronto for the week, leaving my daughter alone (you may ask where was I – I wasn’t told until after it happened).
3. In the last week, my ex sent me a lengthly email telling me my daugther wants to commit suicide.
Of course my first thought is for my daughter, helping her, and talking to her.
But FUCK! I was right all along. I didn’t want to be right but it pissed me off. I was in court, telling her lawyer, my lawyer and the judge, my ex was NEVER there to take care of the children. I argued that my ex spent most of her time working with the office door closed and locked. I argued that my ex traveled and spent long hours out of the home. I argued that she rarely took the time to actually care for the children. I presented examples from my experience and talked at length. The reason I argued against this was because her spousal support was based on this face. The judge didn’t listen to me as my ex argued that she spent the majority of her time taking care of the children. Well, suck it up, life isn’t fair.
This out of everything I lost was the hardest to swallow. I paid her and she lied in court. This woman who was close to God, and to her church. Hmmm, can you say the system is slanted towards the woman? What has to happen here? Does my daughter actually have to lose her life? I accused my ex of verbal and physically abuse and nobody listened to me. How could a 105lb woman be abusing a 200lb man? There are no support systems for abused men. No man’s shelter for us. Oh, no, first you have to convince people, emasculate yourself. Convince individuals, the government and your friends that you are the weaker man.
Well, since learning of my daughter’s problem – I jump into action. I called my daughter and talked to her. I setup a series of sessions for us (my ex has already tried counseling for my daughter but the councilors couldn’t find anything – gee, I wonder why – perhaps the threat of returning to the ex?). Then having a few minutes to myself I think, I could really gut my ex. I could expose her for the abuse… See this web link for stuff about verbal abuse. http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/abusiverelationships/f/verba_abuse.htm
I have to admit, it made me happy. To get back some of my own. To be perfectly and exactly right. But, as my best friend and girlfriend said to me as we were getting dinner – whats in your blog. This blog I write into and express my own frustration – she was right. As much as I wanted my revenge, its not right. Damn! Sometimes I really hate it when she is so right. Thank you GF.
