Legalprison’s Journey

May 16, 2008

Into Extinction Day 107 (Revenge is a bitch – anonymous)

The best revenge is massive success.” Frank Sinatra, 1915-, American Singer and Actor

 

How do you move on? Or why bother moving on because there is nothing left or it will be 3 to 4 years before any good can come of this.  Poking and prodding of friends isn’t going to help either – unless they have experienced the reaming your ex-wife and the justice system gave you – there is simply no comparison. 

 

Well, you could spend your time dreaming of revenge, common themes include:

1.     Winning the Super 7 or Lotto 649.  Using this money to crush her.  Nice dream, but is after all a dream.  Just imagine you hire a team of sharks that swoop in and crush her lawyer and her and the fucked up case they put together.

2.     Disappearing off the face of the planet.   This is my favorite.  Just removing yourself from the entire system and moving on.  I think the appeal is I get to still have a life and she gets a little of nothing.  The appeal is you could actually do this.  However leaving on the edge of the Amazon basin with Yanomani Indians eating the butts out of pigs may not be that appealing.

3.     Running her over with your SUV.  Some tips include, make sure you have a push-bar on the front of your SUV because you don’t want to ruin your paint job.  Make sure you pick a car wash or detail place that will get ride of the criminal evidence and for fucks sake have a good alibi – don’t think for a second the police won’t be CSI’ing your ass.   This thinking is bad!  And if anything were to actually happen to her, this thinking will probably get you into trouble.

4.     You prove she is a rat-faced, skanky, two-faced, skinny-ass loser.  Ah, there is nothing like destroying the life that destroyed yours.  Don’t sink too deep into this kind of thinking it will taint everyday for you.

5.     Everyone discovers what a loser, gold brick, shit-faced liar, slacker, loafer and failure she actually is.  It doesn’t change much except people realize you weren’t wrong.

6.     The government discovers what she is really doing with the money you are giving her.  They discover she is dropping the money into a long term investment for her retirement.  The government decides to fry her ass and it all becomes public.  Okay, this one is total fantasy, the likelihood of the government suddenly becoming competent is such a long shot, its better if you place your hopes in winning the lotto.

7.     She goes out with someone that takes her for every last dime she every made.   Strips her clean including those RRSP’s she has.  Nice to see someone get back some their own.  You spend the time dancing around and cavorting - might happen. 

8.     You arrange your fake death and she gets blamed.  This did show up in another one of my blogs.  As fun as this was or going to be, hello!  You are dead.  You can watch the trial from a distance but life will never be the same again.

9.     You become incredibly successful and she realizes that you never – ever needed her, she was a boat anchor or she was a skid mark on the underwear of life.  This one is a little healthier that the above scenarios – nothing like living well and beyond her means.

10.                         You find a soft, warm loving individual.  She smells great and best of all, she understands you.  She helps you through the tough times and she is great to snuggle with – this is one worth pursuing.

 

My point is, its okay to fantasize about what could happen just don’t like it drag you into it until there is nothing left of you.  This will be one of the most trying times of your life.  You have to make a decision –

 

“Andy Dufresne: “Get busy living, or get busy dying.  The Shawshank Redemption 1994

So what’s it going to be?

May 15, 2008

Into Extinction Day 106 (don’t blame me, its his/her fault this all happened)

Reading through many blogs here on WordPress.com and other sites; the blogs teeter between depression, blame, holding onto the ex or God.  I have read blogs that lay out in minutia - detailing every wrong perpetrated by the other party.  Some examples include:

·        He makes sarcastic comments about me in public.

·        He only wants me for sex.

·        I waiting for her to make her mind about our marriage.

·        She is having dinner with a guy – their just friends.

and the list goes on… 

 

Of course there are those blogs on there preaching a return to god and a life of chastity.  I have no problem with God however its my business and praying to God does not release you from making a decision or moving forward. 

 

The general idea is as follows:

·        Definition: Intrinsic motivation refers to motivation that comes from inside an individual rather than from any external or outside rewards, such as money or grades.

·        Definition: Extrinsic motivation refers to motivation that comes from outside an individual. The motivating factors are external, or outside, rewards such as money or grades. These rewards provide satisfaction and pleasure that the task itself may not provide.

 

Extrinsic people will tend to lay of blame of most things around circumstances surrounding themselves.  Such as he called me an idiot or I am waiting for her decision whereas intrinsic individuals accept responsibility for their actions, make a decision and move on with their lives.  I rarely read a blog that does balance what is going or happening to themselves with their own actions.  What I mean is – if you stay and accept the action of her sleeping around you are enabling the situation.

 

 

The other strategy I see played throughout these blogs again and again is the “I am a victim”.  This is through writing blogs and conversations with others to manipulate feelings of sympathy thereby satisfying the need for personal power and control.  Wait, I am not labeling all complaining as a victim strategy just those that can’t seem to get beyond it and use this victim strategy in all cases to gain the sympathies of others.  Additional definition follows:

 

The self-defined, “Victim” writes his/her own history (along with keeping a now wary protective vigilance toward his/her future power structures by a practiced “marketing” of his/her “mistreatment” and/or “abuse.” Support garnered through such projections provide outside support during rejection, separation or divorce potentials and isolates the falsely labeled “Victimizer” in his/her life).

 

Often having been forced into an early abusive relationship as a child (where he/she had been a genuine victim), the underlying determination as an adult is a lesson learned; being “abused” provides outside sympathy and protective reaction within any life situation).

 

As is common with having been abused as a child, the past-abused child now becomes the adult abuser (within the self-defined “Victim” personality disorder, this adult is a stealth abuser).

 

The self-defined “Victim” is practiced in presenting facial/body behavior signals to his/her outside world as a presentation of the “truth” of his/her position. The facial “mask” along with an “emotion-less” mask at times are silent “display” mechanisms.

 

His/her children as tools whereby anger is expressed in more subtle ways through the hurtful or “direction-signaling” words of his/her children toward the person “needing” punishing or who the “Victim” desires to control.

 

My ex-wife is a master of this strategy and played the victim the entire length of marriage.  So strong was her conviction that I would get emails from what used to be our mutual friends telling me to stop hurting her.

 

My point is I see a lot of finger pointing to other parties when you should also look internally for what you allowed to happen to yourself.  Additionally, I read about individuals inviting again the same type of person into their lives again and again the blog writer plays the victim. 

 

Remember take responsibility for your actions and move forward.  Don’t wait for her or him to make their minds about the marriage, you are placing the control in their hands.  Yes, I know its easy for me to say however, if you always wait for others, you will never be satisfied with the outcome.

May 14, 2008

Into Extinction Day 105 (The pursuit of Justice for the individual)

  At first it may seem like insurmountable obstacles in front of you.   The only way to survive is to pay everyone and what is left is yours.  The latest material I have found on the subject is here >>> http://www.westernstandard.ca/website/article.php?id=2770

 

What I find interesting is there is the occasional article on this topic but for the most part we are ignored.  It seems unless we are homeless or have a strong special interest group representing us; we are buried back in page 25 of the newspaper.  Of course, when one of us kills ourselves in public we do make the front page but it’s just that day.

 

I have been cross-referencing and looking for ways for the government to hear our case because I am not giving up on this easily and I want to fight this.  There is the website >>>  http://www.albertahumanrights.ab.ca/about.asp

 

The vision statement of the Human Rights Commission is as follows:

 

“In Alberta, the Human Rights, Citizenship and Multiculturalism Act (HRCM Act) protects Albertans from discrimination in certain areas and on certain grounds. The purpose of the HRCM Act is to ensure that all Albertans are offered an equal opportunity to earn a living, find a place to live and enjoy services customarily available to the public without discrimination.“

 

The HUMAN RIGHTS, CITIZENSHIP

AND MULTICULTURALISM ACT publishes the following section:

 

Functions of Commission

 

16(1) It is the function of the Commission

 

(a)          to forward the principle that all persons are equal in: dignity, rights and responsibilities without regard to race, religious beliefs, colour, gender, physical disability, mental disability, age, ancestry, place of origin, marital status, source of income or family status,

 

I would contend or file a compliant with the Human Rights Commission based on the Charter of Rights and Freedoms based on the following section:

 

Section 7 guarantees the life, liberty and personal security of all Canadians. It also demands that governments respect the basic principles of justice whenever it intrudes on those rights. Section 7 often comes into play in criminal matters because an accused person clearly faces the risk that, if convicted, his or her liberty will be lost.

 

I would construct the complaint with Alberta Human Rights that when Maintenance Enforcement garnished my wages, suspended my driver’s license and revoked my ability to renew the registry on my vehicle that MEP was violating my right to life, liberty and personal security without a criminal charge being placed against me. 

 

I would maintain that my rights as an individual were severely curtailed without criminal charges and my life, liberty and personal security were at risk.

 

What do you think?

May 13, 2008

Into Extinction Day 104 (What all soon-to-be divorced dads need to know.)

Damn, I wish my lawyer or someone had explained these things to me, would have made life a lot easier and less expensive.

 

1.     Your opinion doesn’t matter.  Nope.  It’s better if you don’t have one.  Just bend over and grab your ankles, think warm thoughts.  You think I am being sarcastic don’t you?

2.     Whatever job; you have – quit – take the job as the fry-girl at MacDonald’s.   Seriously – making $9 an hour is really going to help you.

3.     Whatever she tells the court and the judge, they are going to believe.  You were a cross-dressing, transvestite, and vampire.  This is bad for the children.  They won’t believe you when you tell them she is soul-sucking bitch – nope – ain’t gonna happen.

4.     Sell off everything; take that trip to Thailand before the courts rule.  As a matter of fact, think of moving to Thailand.  You will be stripped of everything including your dignity, manhood, pride, ego, personality, sense of self, character, self-image, self-esteem, confidence, self-assurance, poise, self-belief, self-reliance, and anything else they can think of.

5.     Get used to beans in a can and Kraft Dinner.  This will be haute cuisine.  You idea of a great time will be taking out a frozen hotdog, warming it up in your armpit, and watching the neighbor’s television from your shopping cart in the alley.

6.     The fact that she stuck your dick in the toaster and set it to fry will matter not.  The fact that she stalked you for weeks and eventually pulled a “boiled rabbit” in your apartment matters not.  The fact that she convinced everyone in your office you have herpes matters not in court.  The court system is setup to protect her not you.

7.     Okay new concept here.  You will pay child support and in doing so pay what is called hidden spousal support.  The government, the courts and her lawyer and going to tell her to make as little money as possible so they can tap-dance all over your ass for it. 

8.     You may think because you walked out its done – forget that thought.  She has you by the balls.  She owns your ass. 

9.     Burn and shred everything, I mean everything.  I thought I did (shred everything) and missed her box of cards.  She kept everything I sent her which at first I thought because she liked mementos but in the end it was used against me.  I remember standing there thinking should I shred this?  I thought to myself, naw, too brutal.  On hindsight, I should have.  I kicked myself in court later when she brought the evidence forward.  Think of burning down the house – hmmm, maybe not that might come up in court.

10.                        Your standard of living is about to drop perniciously.  Your charter of rights is about to get a serious stomping.  You will be a second class citizen.  Better you hear it now and get used to the idea.

 

My list is a bit over the top but the feeling is there.  Its difficult to imagine in the beginning when you think you have rights and the law will protect to you to the eventual thoughts that this is not the case.  It is one of the rudest awakenings I can think of.  Good luck my friend, you will need 100lbs of horseshoes to make it through this.

May 12, 2008

Into Extinction Day 103 (Vengeance is best served cold…)

I was thinking over the weekend about the right thing.  I have been faced with several incidents over the past several weeks and what choices to make.   A part of me always wants to be vindictive, spiteful, malicious, bitter, mean, cruel, hurtful, nasty, and malevolent.  It’s an opportunity to give some where I took some.  The outcome of not doing this you get to be the better person, there are no awards, precious little recognition and nothing really for you except you know you did what had to be done.

 

In our world and in popular culture, most movies, friends, and governments make a big thing out of taking back what is yours.  Movies such as Payback is entire film out of getting back what was done to and more.  The first wives club –

“Three ex-wives, dumped for newer models, determine to get their revenge. They had helped their husbands become financially successful, so they cleverly plan to hurt their exes in their pockets. Justice is sweet and fun with plenty of great on-liners and physical gags”

Is a lengthy exposition on how to gut your ex-husband – forgiveness doesn’t seem to be apart of this.  War of the Roses –

The Roses, Barbara and Oliver, live happily as a married couple. Then she starts to wonder what life would be like without Oliver, and likes what she sees. Both want to stay in the house, and so they begin a campaign to force each other to leave. In the middle of the fighting is D’Amato, the divorce lawyer. He gets to see how far both will go to get rid of the other, and boy do they go far.

Is one of the most brutal and damaging movies I have seen on the subject of divorce – a black comedy.  I have seen it once and plan to never see it again.

 

The point of this is revenge.

Revenge (also vengeance, retribution, or vendetta amongst others) consists primarily of retaliation against a person or group in response to a perceived wrongdoing. Although many aspects of revenge resemble or echo the concept of justice, revenge usually has a more injurious than harmonious goal. The goal of revenge usually consists of forcing the perceived wrongdoer to suffer the same pain that was originally inflicted.

 

The point being is get back some of your own. 

In some societies, it is believed that the punishment in revenge should be more than the original injury, as a punitive measure. The Old Testament philosophy of “an eye for an eye” (cf. Exodus 21:24) tried to moderate the allowed damage, in order to avoid a vendetta or series of violent acts that could spiral out of control—instead of ‘tenfold’ vengeance, there would be a simple ‘equality of suffering’. Detractors argue that revenge is a simple logical fallacy, of the same design as “two wrongs make a right.” Some Christians interpret Paul’s “Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord” (Romans 12:19, King James Version) to mean that only God has the moral right to exact revenge. Indeed, every major religious system contains some method for the mediation of disputes and for the limitation of vengeance by imputing a sense of cosmic justice to replace the often faulty justice systems of the world of men.

 

I am not a bible thumper just thought the quote was interesting.  In my experience although revenge is sweet by the very nature of enacting it propagates more and more of the same.  The point being is to get past whatever was done to you and move on with your life.  This is an extraordinary difficult task to accomplish – I know.

 

“Of the psychological, moral, and cultural foundation for revenge, philosopher Martha Nussbaum has written: “The primitive sense of the just—remarkably constant from several ancient cultures to modern institutions…—starts from the notion that a human life…is a vulnerable thing, a thing that can be invaded, wounded, violated by another’s act in many ways. For this penetration, the only remedy that seems appropriate is a counter invasion, equally deliberate, equally grave. And to right the balance truly, the retribution must be exactly, strictly proportional to the original encroachment. It differs from the original act only in the sequence of time and in the fact that it is response rather than original act—a fact frequently obscured if there is a long sequence of acts and counteracts”.

 

My mother was in town this past weekend.  She came in town because her brother was dying.  I don’t keep close with my family nor do they have a current phone number for me.  After years of child abuse at their hands I need some distance. 

 

However, when my grandmother died her greatest wish for me was to help my family and I respect that wish.  So my older brother contacted me and told me my mother was arriving.  I called her and asked her if she needed anything and she just wanted to see me.

 

As usual it was a dog-fuck from the start.  I called her Saturday morning to discover the hotel wanted her out because she didn’t have a credit card.  *sigh  I went over and straightened that out.  Then I discovered like always she had no money for food.  I gave her money as well.

 

This was the woman that beat me as a child and stripped away my sense of self over the years.  I remember every morning in the summer we would dread her getting up.  As she stomped down the stairs we would all scurry about cleaning up the house.  This didn’t stop the verbal abuse from her as she called us useless and dumb-fucks.

 

One distinct memory was when I was in Grade 9 about 15 years old.  We were shopping for my winter clothing.  She slammed my new coat into the cart and announced to me that was the last fucking jacket she was going to buy me.   True to her word she never bought me clothes again.

 

Over the years I was told by my mom, that you little fucker wouldn’t amount to anything.  I remember her screaming that into my face one day and it followed with a smack to my face. 

 

So I did amount to something and managed to create almost the same atmosphere within my failed marriage.  But in the end, we are supposed to rise above this.  To be better than you were taught.   I gave that money to my mother for a few reasons:

1.     My dad got up every morning at 6am and went to work for 30 years – I owned him and it was the right thing to do.

2.     It was what my grandmother wanted me to do.  I didn’t understand her dying request 5 years ago but I know now.

3.     I suppose despite my best efforts I might be the better person and no this wasn’t something I was striving to do or I am proud of – it just is.  I don’t want any thank you’s or hugs for what I did.

 

There was one single incident that struck me about the past weekend.  As I was leaving my mother at the hospital – my duty done she came outside to say goodbye to me.  For a moment I thought it was just goodbye but she broke down and cried on my shoulder for 10 minutes.  It all the time I had know here I never saw this.  It struck me that although at the time, I didn’t need her perhaps she needed me – I had forgotten this with everything else going on.

May 9, 2008

Into Extinction Day 102 (Women smell nice)

If you have been reading my past posts, it may seem like I hate, dislike, abhor, detest and loathe all women.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  I am very attracted to women – well one in particular (you know who you are).  Women smell nicer than us (well try it, take a sniff, but um, try not to sniff unknown women, this will get you in jail very, very fast and sniffing your mother doesn’t count and ewwww).  Women have some very nice soft bits we (as men) are missing.  If you have no clue what I am talking about see your grade 8 sex education classes for details or look on the web (be prepared for nasty stuff on the web by the way).  A great relationship is a woman that complements you – not exactly like you.   She understands you despite your best efforts and lets you be who you want to be (i.e. you don’t have to hide the bag of Cheetos under the seat cushion because she is a health nut). 

 

After the pain of previous breakout has leached out of your system, remember I said after, its time to move on.  The reason it takes time to move on is because of the emotional bond you had with the ex.  I know it’s hard to imagine but it was there.  Breaking that bond is painful and takes time – you should take the time.  Unless of course there were no bonds and you are simply ready to move on.    If this is the case and its remarkable easy to move on, try this book http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/Snakes-Suits-Psychopaths-Workplace-Paul-Babiak/9780060837723-item.html they might be talking about you.

 

Okay as I have said before, in search of a new relationship, lets have some standards or you will end up with a woman who has to either shave her back every other day or who lives out of her car.  Some standards to think of:

 

1.     Height – yes I said height.  Seems trivial but if she only comes up to your waist that may be fantastic for some things (use your imagination) but if you keep losing her in crowds and she is asked for ID all the time, might be a problem.

2.     Interests – what do you like?  If she is interested in scrap booking and/or mud-wrestling alligators – hell if you don’t mind it’s your choice.  Interests indicate what’s beneath the surface.  If her biggest hobby is bingo on Saturday nights is this what you want?  If she likes to zip line across 300 foot gorges, can you do it?

3.     I have always had the standard rule, if the women can bench press more than me it’s a no-go.   Why?  Do you want your ears pinned back when you lose an argument?  Do you want her to use you for pushups?   You really will be a boy toy.  Hell, maybe you like that – not for me.

4.     Intelligence – if she is part of the local chapter of Mensa and you crush beer cans on your forehead – this might be a problem.  If she has 2 undergraduate degrees and a PHD, you may have a problem discussing world politics with her because world politics involve for you involve what your friends said down in the bar last night and comparing who can fart the loudest.

5.      Her ambitions – if her greatest ambition is to be on Jerry Springer, well it’s your choice.  Think about it, you will have to sleep with her half-sister who had the sex change to get on Springer and make her dreams come true.  Of course, if your greatest ambition is to do the run to Sturgis and she doesn’t know what the bitch seat is… Well….

6.     Your habits – if cleaning your toenails in bed is completely acceptable to you  - I am telling you now – good luck trying to find someone that will put with that (your dog doesn’t count).   If you never clean up after yourself, and weeks of food are lying around – I don’t know many people that will put with that.  Think personal grooming habits, think bathing once a day and a nice cologne – not cologne that attacks and subdues women by beating them over the head – something subtle (but that’s my preference).

7.     Religion – I know this doesn’t come up right away.  If she attends church 3 times a week and you during the first full moon sacrifice a cat to your pagan gods, there might a teeny weenie problem here.   Religion, in my opinion should be a close match, either she comes over to your side and is prepared to dance naked under the full moon with sheep or you go to her church – even this, in my opinion I don’t think will work.

8.     World View – what I mean by that what is her perception of the world around her.  If her world view doesn’t extend beyond the 6 blocks she has always lived in and yours is hiking through the Himalayas – there might be a problem here.

9.     Avoid psychotic women, now really, you would think this goes without saying however statistics show 1 in 10 people have a little Texas Chainsaw massacre in them.   A psychosis can show up many different ways, here are some common ones;

a.     Schizophrenia (multiple types) – every time you pick her for a date you meet someone new, this is a danger sign.

b.     Hallucinations (false perceptions) – she thinks she is the Prime Minister and wants you to address her as her lordship (well without tying you up this really isn’t a lot of fun).  Doesn’t matter how beautiful she is – this is a problem.

c.      Delusions (false beliefs) – she really does believe that aliens have come and probed her and they will bring her to their planet as their queen. 

d.     Flattened affect (loss of range of emotions) – if she has 2 emotions and one of them involves a lot of sex – while this may be fun – even this will wear on.  This to me is a significant danger sign.

10.                         Spending time with her.  If many things crop up, like the way she clicks her teeth all the time annoys you from day one, it isn’t going to get better.  If her unwillingness to shave body parts is really bugging you – it’s really time to move on.

 

My point is to know what your standards are.  I know this might sound shallow but it’s important.  This will help you and her decide if you want to invest time in the relationship because it can’t all be about the sex.  Good luck.

May 8, 2008

Into Extinction Day 101 (the Dehumanization of divorced fathers)

Dehumanization often begins with the removal of personal identification. A convicted criminal is issued a prison identification number, for example. This form of dehumanization allows the guards and other authorities to maintain an impersonal relationship with inmates. This practice of dehumanization is also used by military prisons to maintain a feeling of superiority over captured enemy combatants. Viewing the enemy as a human being may compromise a soldier’s ability to interrogate him or her later.

 

Dehumanization is a process by which members of a group of people assert the “inferiority” of another group through subtle or overt acts or statements. Dehumanization may be directed by an organization (such as a state) or may be the composite of individual sentiments and actions, as with some types of de facto racism. State-organized dehumanization has been directed against perceived racial or ethnic groups, nationalities (or “foreigners” in general), religious groups, genders, minorities of various sexual orientations (eg. homosexuals or pedophiles), disabled people as a class, economic [e.g. the homeless] and social classes, and many other groups.

 

A common theme (or meme) is that of scapegoating, where dehumanizing the target provides a release from guilt for the person that scapegoats them, who typically begins to see themselves as a victim of the dehumanized person, rather than as a potential oppressor.

 

The only reason this thought came up for me; I was watching “Saving Private Ryan” over the last few days and it dawned on me.  There is a well known psychological process for dehumanizing a group of individuals.  It starts with classification of the group of individuals, in our case its “Deadbeat dads”.  When dealing with Maintenance Enforcement you are assigned a seven digit number – that is what you are known as.  Every transaction and conversation begins with this number.  I know my number by rote now because that’s how I am addressed in the system.  They don’t use my first or last name in addressing me. 

 

Additional classifications is putting more psychological distance between the individuals perpetrating the act and those on the receiving end.  In our case, it’s the extreme punishment such as 14 years in prison for misfiling a statement of finance.  It continues with breaking down the moral and ethics boundaries of the individual.   This can be found in the Statement of Finance documentation required by Maintenance Enforcement, this document calls for the following:

·        Name, current address, Social Insurance Number, Health Care number and Driver’s License.

·        Present Employer information – gross and net salary

·        Annual bonus’s, commission, any raises you might receive, part-time employment, income producing hobbies, other income from rental properties, annuities, and pensions.

·        List of additional income such as are you collecting rent from a roommate.

·        Income from self-employment.

·        Do you have a business?  What is the salary?  Bonuses?  Dividends?  Other income such as automobile allowances and expenses you submit.

·        Any other monies received from the business such as company car, house, loans, savings plans, and share purchase options.

·        Copies the business financial statements.

·        Number of shares in the business and are you an officer of the corporation?

·        Total amount of loans you have made to the corporation.

·        Your monthly expenses including rent or mortgage payments, property taxes, utilities, groceries, clothing, transportation, personal expenses, home or rental insurance, vehicle insurance, life insurance, disability insurance, maintenance, alcohol, tobacco or other dependencies.

·        Complete list of your monthly payments to creditors.

·        List of dependants.

·        List of agreements requiring you to pay child or spousal maintenance.

·        List of all chequing and savings accounts, term deposits and annuities.

·        List of all retirement savings plans including RRSP, LIRA, LIF, and LRIF’s.

·        List of all real estates.

·        List of motor vehicles including type, make, model, year, serial no of the vehicle, purchase price you paid, balance owing, current market value and equity.

·        List of securities, including your shares, bonds and their current market value including any dividends paid out.

·        List of all location of all certificates for all corporate holdings both public and private and names and addresses of the brokers you deal with.

·        Insurance policies including the name of the insurance company, policy number, amount, person insured, premium and the cash surrender value.

·        Trusts – including the description of the assets held, location and the names and addresses of the trustee’s.

·        Parties who owe you money including their name, address, reason for debt, and amounts owning.

·        Are you a plaintiff in any lawsuit that may result in the court awarding you money?  Name of the person being sued, amount claimed, your lawyer’s name, address, phone number and status of the court action.

·        Have you settled a lawsuit for a sum of money that has not yet been paid?  Your lawyer’s name, amount owing, payment date, lawyer’s address, lawyer’s phone number and status of the court action.

·        Have you applied for any benefit, refund, compensation, grant, settlement or other funds form any government or program? 

·        Do you have any inheritances?

·        Other assets such as interests in other businesses, promissory notes, judgment debts, loans and mortgages receivable, objects of art, jewellery, bullion, coins, cameras, household furnishings and appliances (stereos, TVs, computers, crystal, dishwashers, and other asses no previously listed.

·        Have you given away, sold or assigned or otherwise transferred any property?

 

You have become a number and a series of assets that the government can claim at any time.  Where is our humanity?  The only thing I see missing on this list is your gold filings or perhaps how much they could get for that pacemaker in your chest or the clothes on your back. 

 

The process of filling out MEP’s forms is very dehumanizing and demoralizing, it might be better to jump off a building.

 

Further steps in the dehumanizaing process include:

 

“However, for individuals viewed as outside the scope of morality and justice, “the concepts of deserving basic needs and fair treatment do not apply and can seem irrelevant.”  Any harm that befalls such individuals seems warranted, and perhaps even morally justified. Those excluded from the scope of morality are typically perceived as psychologically distant, expendable, and deserving of treatment that would not be acceptable for those included in one’s moral community. Common criteria for exclusion include ideology, skin color, and cognitive capacity. We typically dehumanize those whom we perceive as a threat to our well-being or values”

 

It seems in the process of dehumanizing divorced fathers, whatever happens to them is because they were bad people, didn’t pay for their children, cheated in their wives and the like.  When one of us “deadbeat dads” commits suicide he was mentally imbalanced – nobody bothers to look at the process that drove the individual to that point.

 

“Psychologically, it is necessary to categorize one’s enemy as sub-human in order to legitimize increased violence or justify the violation of basic human rights. Moral exclusion reduces restraints against harming or exploiting certain groups of people. In severe cases, dehumanization makes the violation of generally accepted norms of behavior regarding one’s fellow man seem reasonable, or even necessary. “

 

Basic human rights such as food, shelter and clothing are denied when paying MEP.   You must pay the support and whatever is left you get to live off of.  What happens is the actions taken against a divorced father through our legal system have become the accepted norms for behavior however if the same individuals (i.e. such as judges, politicians, lawyers and other officials) faced the same punitive actions – how would they react?  You, as a divoriced father, have been re-classified out of normal society.  You are no longer a normal citizen; the only thing missing is getting you to sow a label on your jacket branding you a deadbeat dad.

 

“Deindividuation facilitates dehumanization as well. This is the psychological process whereby a person is seen as a member of a category or group rather than as an individual. Because people who are deindividuated seem less than fully human, they are viewed as less protected by social norms against aggression than those who are individuated. It then becomes easier to rationalize contentious moves or severe actions taken against one’s opponents.”

 

How quickly is a divorced father viewed as a “deadbeat dad” when you have an argument against the system?  When you say the payout for support in unfair?  What has happened is the normal social conventions that would have stopped such things as your bank accounts froze or your drivers license suspended is gone – it is a perfectly rational move by society to suspend your rights and freedoms.

 

“Once certain groups are stigmatized as evil, morally inferior, and not fully human, the persecution of those groups becomes more psychologically acceptable. Restraints against aggression and violence begin to disappear.”

 

Tell me when someone speaks of a deadbeat dad they are saying this person might be or are evil.  It becomes perfectly acceptable or more psychologically acceptable to use more extreme means on these deadbeat dads.  Let’s show them all they can’t fuck with us.

 

In the end, deadbeat dads or divorced fathers are seen as second class in society.   It is easier to brand us all the same way and to treat us as such.  There is one system and one treatment and one punishment for all divorced dads.  Your freedoms are taken away.

 

May 7, 2008

Into Extinction Day 100 (it really bites you on the ass)